just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize