I can text with my tongue
I think my vagina is haunted
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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