my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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