I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
