you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
