How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
