Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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