Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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