The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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