somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
