Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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