So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
