I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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