No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
