hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
