A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
