I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Found the puke drawer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize