yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
