When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize