wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
