Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
