dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize