Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize