Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
