Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
