hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
