East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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