That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
