You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
