Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
is that a dick in a sweater?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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