I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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