I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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