Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
