'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
