I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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