I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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