What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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