I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
