Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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