I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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