Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just blew my weed a kiss
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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