Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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