I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
