Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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