That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
