I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
