So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Text me some of your sweat
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
