did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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