I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
