booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
