Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
