Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
