So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
