Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
