He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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