Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
