If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
