hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
