Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
