yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize