Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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