shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
