Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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