Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
