OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
