His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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