are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I seem to have left my pride at pride
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
