I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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